The girl who didn’t cry



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Tears had left her soul a long time back. She didn’t have reasons to stand where she had been since the last 2 years. She had been punished with no reason at all. Faith seemed to hold no meaning for her. She could have run away a long time back, leaving her agony and her pain but she had chosen to stay, to hold on to the only thing she had loved since love had shown its meaning.

But love had been cruel, yeah it had been to such an extent that she could barely feel her existence. Pillows had been kept away to soak away all the tears she had shed in those quiet nights with the only sound audible was that of her own heartbeat. She would stare at the ceiling for hours, trying to figure out how she got into this position. Smile had eluded her face long back and all she could see in the mirror was the darkness under her eyes. And suddenly one day she decided to be strong, just like that. She got up, brushed her teeth trying to force a smile, looking forward to another uneventful day ahead.

She moved on. She met new people. Songs continued to remind her of him. But she didn’t give up. She couldn’t go back to the darkness that she had left far behind. She smiled. She laughed. She lived her life. She didn’t cry. She couldn’t believe the person she had become.

One night, on the phone, she talked to a friend. An unknown person who had been with her yet invisible from her real life. She hadn’t seen him or felt for him. But his mere voice soothed her soul. His words calmed her from inside. She liked him but was afraid to tread into the unseen waters. She was afraid to trust any other living soul. Men had grown up to become dogs for her. And as his voice brushed her essence, she cried, just like that. She cried and cried till it was dawn. And the person didn’t leave her company. And more she cried.

While flipping upon some old songs, she stumbled upon her romantic favourite. She didn’t cry. No old memories started to haunt her. She remembered the person, on the call. Life changed, just like that. 🙂

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The train or the hill?


There has been a zillion times when I have told myself that I will do something this last sem. I will study this, that, play this game, read that novel or at least write more. But no, my lazy body doesn’t allow me to do what I wish. Maybe in some days I will get my body to work the way I intend it to, for now, I don’t see that happening. But, with the fever right now I guess I felt like browsing through movies and writing something.

Coming back to the point. Well, it has been around an year and a half since I started blogging. I didn’t publicise it because:
1) I really am not that awesome writer who has to be in the top league
2) My writing was meant for some close friends and I am more than glad to have their constant responses time to time, indirectly or directly. So, kind of fulfills my purpose, right? I am glad they are still here to give their time to stop and read. *thank you audience* Please keep pouring in with your feedbacks, it generously helps me evolve as a bettwer writer.

So, as far as I remember it was the third time I was watching the movie ‘Leap year’. I love movies with picturesque background. It is one such movie. Now, there is this scene in this movie which really made me write this article. Amy Adams (Boy is she hot!) and Mathew Goode are stuck at a railway station. They are waiting for the next train due in an hour or so. There is a beatiful hill with a castle in the backdrop and Mathew asks Amy to take a visit. Well she hesitates but eventually gives in.

The point behind this story telling is a simple one. What would you have chosen if given an option? The train or the hill? Our lives are pretty busy with the hustling and rumbling of the trains. We keep moving from one place to another, without resting, without thinking. Where we are now, seldom pleases us. We always try to discover something new, something better, rarely stopping to appreciate the beauty all around us. People and places are left behind while we try to seek comfort in the new uncomfortable aspects of life. The hill though how gorgeous it is, fails to generate the happiness we think we deserve. So, what if we stop to admire the hills around us. There will always be a next train, right? What will you choose? The train or the hill?

Well, enough of senti stuffs for now. I guess I need to get back in my blanket, shiver and hope the fever decreases as soon as possible. God it’s cold in Goa. -_-
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The Magic


What will I miss after it gets over? Well, that’s a tough question. I want to tell you that I will miss the college life, the campus roads, the sense of calmness. But the truth, deep inside my heart I know is, I won’t miss any of them.

I won’t miss the late night movies, rather the ones those seen with. I won’t miss the beaches, rather the ones those been with. I won’t miss nescafe or mongi but the ones with whose money I ate the puffs or drank ice teas. I won’t miss the classes but the ones who made them fun. I won’t miss the night canteen, rather the ones whom I woke up from sleep and dragged there at 2 in the night. I won’t miss the campus roads rather the ones with whom I gauged the girls. The maggis wont be missed but the ones who made them. It won’t be the joker in me who will be missed rather the ones on whom I could make the endless ones. It won’t be the birthdays missed which were celebrated the way they would never be, but the ones who made the memories possible.

I won’t miss crazily falling in love for the first time or having the first crush rather the ones who were there to share the stories with. The girls won’t be missed rather the ones telling infinite number of stories about them. I won’t miss the endless songs that played when I walked the corridors rather the ones who mindlessly selected those addictive songs. I won’t miss the DJ nights but the ones who witnessed my crazy steps. I won’t miss the long bike trips but the ones were crazy enough to drive 350 kilometres. Those champagne cheers, those treats, those lameless reasons for another visit to HQ, none will be missed but the ones who agreed to give in to my stupid reasons. No, that guy right across the corridor who became one of my best friend over time, he won’t be missed. It will be his crazy slangs that will be. I won’t miss the nicknames that friends gave me, rather I will miss those friends.

We BITSians say ‘BITS, its magic.’ I remember giving presentations on behalf of Lets Promote BITS Pilani, and this used to be our tagline. Never could I have ever imagined the aptness behind the quote. But the magic tricks won’t be missed. It will be the fucking magicians who will be. When a magic show reaches its end, we try to enjoy every last second of it. The BITS magic, as they say, is coming to an end. There will be 8 hours jobs. There will be money but none to spend on. The fights over ‘mere paas paise nahi hai, tu abhi de de‘ only to realise you are getting none back will never be the same. People will confront you to take the money back, no matter how you feel about it. No one will have the fucking time to stop and laugh. That’s how its going to be. You will talk about college life and friends, but none will be there and that’s how it’s going to be. You will have reunions and have those odd moments. But this life and these friends are going to be no more around.

It’s how life is. You meet someone only to part ways. So someday, when working your ass off in your high profile office for that fucking lakh per month paycheck of yours, stop and remember what beautiful thing you had once. You will cry over some girl breaking your heart or a bad day at office. No one is going to give a shit about it. That’s when you will miss your friends.

And how funny is the thing that you will realise it only when you won’t have any of them around. It’s never about the place and its never about the memories. Its about those fucking morons who make them. Live, laugh and joy. This moment, this time, this fucking life ain’t ever coming back. So, when you leave this place remember where you came from. You can boast about Gajendra verma, Shafkat, Kailash kher coming to your campus. For all you know, none of that would matter. It will be the rockstars here that will leave the impact forever. You will need to be here to see the magic unveil. BITS Pilani, It’s Magic. 🙂

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