Self-Control


There are various aspects in our life that go unnoticed sometimes. I remember when I was a young kid and my mother gave me money to carry out some errands, I went to the market with all the five senses intact. The senses of smell and sight were most dominant, though. I would walk around and catch a glimpse of a certain thela-wala selling hawa-mithai. Then forgetting all the things and irrespective of how much money I had left with me I would say ‘Bhaiya, ek mast wali hawa-mithai banana.’

As a child, the aspect of self-control is very well ignored. We often see small kids crying for candies or sweets. What is our first reaction? ‘Bada ziddi baccha hai, kisi ki nahi sunta.’ That is a very vague picture of what is called self-control. Wikipedia defines self-control as the ability to control one’s emotions, behavior, and desires in order to obtain some reward, or avoid some punishment, later. When we are kids, we have very less self-control on us. As we grow up, we get matured and we learn that the more we have self-control over ourselves, the more successful we will be in our lives.  The desires are always there. When we are kids, the desire is to eat chocolates, play with toys, when we grow up a little we desire to have a bicycle like every other kid in the colony. When we grow up further then we realize that the earlier desires are nothing compared to what we desire now. There is a big difference between dreams and desire. We shouldn’t confuse between that.

When we grow up and the phase of teenage ends, we are there in a phase of our lives where we are much more emotional, mature and the sense of ‘desire’ is totally different. And as the meaning of desire changes, the importance of self-control becomes more and more. I remember one day I was talking to my dad, and told him that I am trying to have more self-control. He laughed and gave me a lecture for around an hour over how we underestimate the meaning of self-control, though at last he did praise me that I am at least thinking of bringing self-control in my life.

So, as most of my readers have told me that I write too long and that I should write short articles, I will cut the story short here. To sum up, we do learn a lot of things from life. And one of the most important lessons I have learnt is that of self-control. Self-control makes us stronger and teaches us the essential value of patience. Sometimes, the emotions, the desires need to be suppressed during a phase in our lives so that we can be at a better position. Sometimes you need to sacrifice those desires for now to enjoy them in a much better way later. Then we can let those desires and emotions play roles in our lives. Save for now, The fruit ought to be sweeter. 🙂

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Why did we grow up?


When we were small kids, we wish we were older. When we grew up we asked ourselves why did we even grow up?

When we were children we didn’t have to worry about the world. Our only concern was how to watch cartoons and how to play cricket in the backyard. If anyone ever hurt us we had our parents to stop us from crying. We had our mother to wipe our tears and say ‘aa, kaun rulaya mere shona ko, mere raja beta ko.’ We had our father to bring us chocolates and take us to the market on the back of the bike. We watched and enjoyed as our parents scolded our brothers and sisters.

When we went to school, all we wondered was when will be the lunch time, when we will be with our friends stealing their lunchboxes, running around the playground. When we all watched in horror as the principal came with a stick when we forgot to do our homework.  When our parents wouldn’t sign in the teacher’s complaint column unless and until we promise them that we will pacca se study more and again forgot to take our books the next day. That awesome feeling when we get to know that the school is closed due to rains, when we are on our way to school & coming back dancing in the rain. When asking our auto-wale-bhaiya to stop the auto on the side of the road while everyone grabs one samosa each. Later on in the night when we complain about the stomachache and listen to our mother scold us and then bring Pudin-Hara and then staying awake the whole night. I remember I had a very bad migraine once, and my mother stayed awake the whole night while I slept in her lap.

When we fell down, we didn’t stop there, rather we got up and kept on running. When we had no chillars for a toss and we used to grab a stone, spit on side and ask ‘bol kya lega, bhiga ya sukha?’ When ‘one tip one hand’ and ‘direct bahar gaya toh out’ were the best way to take wickets and when we fought for first batting while someone shouted ‘pehle batting bhi lega, pehle bowling bhi, main nahi khel raha, mera bat laao.’ When we asked our friends to turn back and say ‘numbering karna hai’ and spread out those fingers and ask ‘bol ye kiska’. When we got out on the first ball we used to run on the terrace ‘first ball try ball yarr’ while our friends chased us.

Those were the memories, when we had to show our elders we could take care of the house while they were not at the home. When the only addictions were ‘dee dee, dexter, flinstones, Scooby doo, contra, Mario.’ When there were no cellphones and no smses. When a friend called on the landline number to wish us happy birthday, that was a proud moment, that even we get calls on landline. When there were no worries for exams, when our mother would copy the notes when we missed classes, cover our new books and make the projects. When those shoulders carried water bottles playing with it all the way. When a girl came and talked to us, we used to blush and our face turned red like a tomato.

Now our lives are full of worries, tensions, arguments, fights. When life has turned ugly. When life has lost its innocence, when friends meet once in a year. When nobody has got time in their fast lives. When an assignment keeps us awake the whole night and we have got no one to make us a cup of coffee, stroke our hair. When the only talks are about career, studies, and relationships. When people hurt us more than principal’s stick on our small hands. When, life has lost its meaning.

I am not afraid of responsibilities, I am not afraid to commit, I am not afraid of career, I just wish, just for a single day I meet my friends on a beach throw away our shoes, our ties, our shirts, forget our responsibilities and run, with no competition with no winner, just run till our breaths last. Just once, I want to return back to my childhood, just once I want to turn back the clock, steal tiffin, chase my friends, laugh like madmen, and touch our thumbs and say ‘Pacca dosti?’. 🙂

Face of Zephyr


Zephyr literally means a soft gentle breeze. When I looked up the name for the first time, I was confused. Can the inter-hostel festival of any college be called Zephyr?

When hostels turn into battleground, the auditorium echoes with curses and flashlights. When the college gets divided into 14 different communities it’s not a festival, it’s a war! I remember in my first Zephyr we were given space in the auditorium balcony along with two other hostels AH7 and AH8. I could tell you from the look on the faces of people of our hostel as well as the above-mentioned hostels on the third and the last day of the fest. We were not BITSians then, we were the CH3ites, AH7ites and AH8ites by then. Funnily enough, one of our guys did take down guys from AH7.

By the way this wasn’t my topic. Actually one of my friends took part in an event called Face of Zephyr. So, I was requested to write an article describing her (What an honor :’) )

Her name denotes love and though many a times I have made fun of that, she never seems to mind. I met Nazish in my first year, and since then she has proved to one of my best friends time and again. She never seems to mind anything and I can tell you that I have talked to her on some explicit topics. 😉 I have met a lot of people in my 21 years of battle on mother earth, and I can tell you, she is one of the most fun loving & happy go lucky girl I have ever met. She believes in a new day and she has faith in her life. Things go wrong, she might get depressed, but I have rarely seen that 32-teeth open ‘D’ smile vanish from her face. Friends are her life. And, now that I am writing this I hope she considers me good enough as a writer and good enough to know her as a person (another honour).

Besides being pretty (yeah I know I exaggerated ;)), she is a beautiful person at heart. She is a big drama queen, literally. Drama runs in her blood and kicks out every now and then in the form of weird actions. She can play an old maid with a trembling voice, she can play an old woman, she can play a betaal with an extremely shrieking voice and how can I forget your sensual kiss scene 😉 And as she flaunts always, she is a core member in the drama club. They ask her to read scripts and finalize it. Bade log!

She is an excellent speaker. You can see her voice modulation change as she goes from talking to you in the next seat to speaking on the stage. (Courtsey LPBP session (Lets Promote BITS Pilani) & PS1 seminars.) She is a confident speaker to be precise and even if she is wrong, she can convince you that she is right, such is the confidence in her.

She knows how to enjoy life. She does what she loves to do, and doesn’t what she doesn’t. End of story! No grumbling, she doesn’t like it, she won’t do it. I remember her joining Depp (Department of Publicity and Public Relations), Drama Club, Aerodynamics Club, Nirmaan, Fash club & EPAC (Environment Protection and Awareness Club). While she was in nirmaan for few weeks, she continued with DEPP just to get the department t-shirt. Fash & Drama are her greatest obsessions. She sometimes forces me to go to a beach and clean or write poems at 2’o clock in the morning!

Well, that all apart, the most beautiful characteristic in her is that she trusts goodwill in people. She has borne me from more than two years, though I don’t have much of good in my soul. She is a friend to preserve for life.

Cheers Naz 😀

Make you mine


Walking under the moonlight, with rains falling down the street..
My eyes met yours and I could feel my heart skip a beat..
And though my heart started racing away with no control..
I knew I had fallen in love with you then and there as a whole..

For nights I did stare at the ceilings with dreams far away..
And seldom I did walk without stealing any moment I could stare and say..
In the world far across the seas..
I will take you where we will be unseen..
No one to care and no one to bother..
I will stare in your eyes and make you mine, forever..

Your voice almost killed me and dont talk about the smile..
I could jump from a hill or even walk a thousand mile..
To see your pretty face, oh hold it in front of me for some more time..
For moments I wish,someday I will make you mine..

And then time flew and thus we grew..
But the passion in my heart did seldom die..
And long I did close my eyes..
To be woken up by you under the skies..
I dreamt to see you before I sleep and before I saw the morning..
Well though, now it seems so distant and vague it may look..
But one day you will be mine, for now I am just living my life as a brook..

So finally, when I grow up to become something, I promise to kneel once again..
And this time the ring will be for real I promise not to break it in vain,
Because I know, I will change my spex and I will change my hair altogether…
But I promise someday somewhere I will make my girl mine again, and
this time, forever… 🙂